Tobin's Story:

On Tuesday, June 15, 2010 I received a phone call from my OB's office. The doctor explained that there were some concerns they had with my ultrasounds. They were seeing "red flags" that indicated there could be something wrong with our baby. We were then scheduled to meet with a specialist that Friday. The next couple of days felt like the longest days of my life. Friday morning we first met with a genetic counselor. She went over what they were seeing in my previous ultrasounds and what they would be looking for in the ultrasound I would have after we talked with her. Basically there were two things that they were looking for: Down Syndrome or Trisomy 18. She went over what each of those meant and answered the questions we had. We then went in for the ultrasound with the specialist. The specialist came in and explained what they were seeing in the ultrasound: 2 vessel umbilical chord, cysts on the brain, extra amniotic fluid, clenched fists, a cleft lip and clubbed feet. As he went over each thing my heart broke and I wept. When the ultrasound was finished we met with the specialist in his office and he shared with us that he believed our baby had Trisomy 18 which meant that our baby was incompatible with life. He gave us the option to terminate the pregnancy. There was no way we were going to do that. We loved this sweet baby and wanted to show him that love and make the most of his life whatever that may be. We scheduled an amniocentesis test for Friday, August 20th. This would confirm if he had Trisomy 18 as well as confirm the gender of our baby. The specialist prayed with us before we left.

I remember thinking August seemed so far away, but when August 20th came it seemed so quick. I was extremely nervous about the test, but it went rather quick and smoothly. On Monday, August 23rd (Dave's Birthday) we received the preliminary results of the amniocentesis. They did in fact find 3 of the 18th chromosome. Our baby had Trisomy 18. They also shared with us that we were having a baby boy. Dave and I held each other and wept. How could this be?!? After officially hearing the news Dave and I decided we needed to come up with a name for our son. We wanted it to have special meaning. It took us about a week to decided his name: Tobin Kendall. Tobin meaning "God is Good" and Kendall being Dave's grandfather's name and his father's middle name. We truly believed and continue to believe that God Is Good and wanted others to know that.

On Monday, September 6 after a few days of not feeling any movement from Tobin, Dave and I went in to the hospital for a non-stress test. I prayed so hard that God would allow us to hear Tobin's heartbeat. The nurse continued to move the Doppler around on my belly searching for his heartbeat. She explained to us that she wasn't confident enough to tell us that the heartbeat she was hearing was mine or his and so she would call our doctor to have an ultrasound done. Our doctor came and did the ultrasound. After a few minutes of scanning he showed us where Tobin's heart was and explained that there was no heartbeat...Tobin had passed. We decided to be induced the next day. Tobin arrived Wednesday, September 8, 2010 at 4:06am. He was 2lbs 1oz and 12.5inches long. He was so beautiful and I cherish every moment we had with him.

Monday, August 13, 2012

Strength and Beauty

I have a dear friend who I am so thankful for.  She is an AMAZING woman with such great STRENGTH and BEAUTY.  We were introduced when I found out about my precious Tobin.  I wish it was under different circumstances that our friendship blossomed, but I am ever so BLESSED to call her friend.  I want to share her with you because she is a part of our story.  Her name is Heather...






Heather is the mother of 4 beautiful children, McKenzie, Carter, Alexis and Bailey.  Alexis and Bailey are twins and were born on February 20, 2009...just a month before our Michaela.  If you looked at these beautiful girls at birth you would never know the immense pain and suffering that one of these beautiful little girls would experience for the next 18 months.



Just shortly after birth Bailey suffered seizures that caused an extensive amount of damage to her brain.  Matt and Heather did not know at the time what their journey would hold with Bailey, but they faithfully trusted in God's goodness.  I did not meet Heather at this time, but God was already preparing us for each other.  Here I was praying for this precious family in the background not knowing that God would bring us together through grief and sorrow towards the end of Bailey's life.  I met Heather in June 2010 when I found out that our sweet Tobin was "incompatible with life".  Even though Heather was experiencing such immense grief in her own life she came to me offering me comfort and a friendship.



2 Years ago, on August 13, 2010, Bailey Hope went from the arms of her loving Mother and Father straight into the arms of Jesus.  She is pain free and experiencing joy beyond what we can ever even imagine!  I did not know at the time that God was using this experience to help prepare me for the pain I would experience the next month.  I remember weeping and literally screaming in my car after Bailey's visitation.  Praying for God to spare me from this grief and pain.  Little did I know that a month later we would experience such great loss.


Heather and I have a bond of friendship that is different from many of my other friendships.  She knows and understands the grief and pain that I experience daily.  I am so thankful for this friend I have where words are not always necessary but a simple glance can say so much more.  Where a phone call is accepted anytime about anything.  I love her dearly and daily thank God for bringing her into my life.

Please pray for my friend Heather and her sweet family as today marks the 2 year anniversary of Bailey being joined with Jesus.  A day of joy and sorrow for the Mekkes family.  Joy that Bailey no longer has any pain...sorrow as they miss their sweet girl.

If you want to read more on this sweet family, here is their blog:  theseventhsparrow.blogspot.com
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